The definitely not a drinking game to the SOTU

The annual State of the Union is almost upon us. This will be President Donald Trump’s first SOTU and the buzz is growing as many Americans wait to see what the president will lay out as his priorities for the year.

Political nerds might even be planning a watch party for this main event. Well, you’re in luck because I’ve put together a fun-inducing SOTU watch party guide! Now my editor told me, in no uncertain terms, that I could not write a drinking game for the SOTU that involved any alcohol whatsoever because many of you are underage. So, break out your milk cartons and juice boxes for this, totally not encouraging drinking alcohol in any way, drinking game for the SOTU!

What you’ll need: several tiny glasses of milk, (think about the size you could throw back in one gulp), two juice boxes, and a bottle of water.

via GIPHY

Rule #1: Take a sip of your juice box anytime Trump says one of his achievements is historic, the best ever, unprecedented, etc. He is likely to bring up these type of vibes when talking about his administration’s accomplishments this past year: especially the tax reform legislation that was passed or the state of the economy and jobs in America. Trump will likely want to play to these strengths and highlight a congressional achievement in order to show voters the Republicans can get things done before the upcoming midterm elections.

Rule #2: Finish one of those tiny glasses of milk anytime Trump blames Congress, or specifically the Democrats, for not getting something done or getting in the way of Trump’s agenda. Following the debacle with health care and the current debate of immigration raging in the capital, it’s likely that Trump will want to place the blame for the dysfunction on Democrats and the legislature – not on himself. Although it will be interesting to see what motivation Trump offers in terms of an immigration solution for Congress. Trump stayed relatively silent during the last debate and the government shutdown but has since released his proposed immigration plan which received mixed reviews from both sides of the aisle. (You can make it two tiny glasses of milk if he uses one of his nicknames to call out a particular member of Congress, ex. Pocahontas, Dicky Durbin, or Sneaky Dianne Feinstein.)

Rule # 3: Take a sip of your juice box if at any time while discussing his new infrastructure proposal Trump says the words “bipartisan” or “beautiful.” The president is expected to spend a good amount of time of Tuesday’s speech laying out his plan for a trillion dollar infrastructure package. Fixing the nation’s infrastructure is something Democrats have previously expressed an interest in, hence the prediction Trump will play up the bipartisan angle of the deal in order to make it debating process run smoothly through Congress. The beautiful just seems to be his go to when describing parts of America.

Rule # 4: Finish your juice box if Trump brings up the Russia/obstruction of justice investigation in any way. The last time America saw a president in a similar-ish situation was when President Bill Clinton delivered his SOTU during his impeachment trial. While Clinton chose to ignore the situation entirely and not bring it up, the differences here, notably that Trump has repeatedly said he is not under personal investigation and that the whole investigation is a hoax, could prompt the president to speak on the matter.

Rule #5: Pop the bottle cap off your water bottle and take a swig of that H2O when Trump says “Make America Great Again” which will likely be at the end of his speech so this serves as the grand finale as you come down from that annual rush of excitement that is the SOTU.

Bonus Rule: Finish your juice box if anyone falls asleep during the speech, a la Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, or if anyone launches a protest inside the capitol while the speech is going on. You can also add to this bonus rule by taking a sip of your juice box any time the commentators mention someone who is not in attendance as some sort of protest against the president.

So there you have it, you’re definitely not an alcohol-inclusive drinking game for this year’s SOTU. Cheers!

via GIPHY